To the next annoying ex-girlfriend

Before you dump me,  I tried please. I couldn't afford taking you to the cinemas every three days.
I didn't have money for our last date night! I never bought you flowers last Valentine! Oh, you wanted Pizza, did I get you? Hmm, just once! Yes, that pedicure was expensive! Never mind, Thomas lent me some dimes!

Every after two weeks, you wanted a hair change. I preferred you with the free natural hair though. You cut it in disguise! Your friend Akello bought a new dress from your usual boutique...i could not afford the same for you! I swallowed all the non-affordability and nonsense every time!

Enough! The katogo you prepared last weekend...oh, it was burnt but I joyfully ate it! You had never met her when she came over that month...but you poured water on her! She was my sister!

Your phone is your phone, have I ever touched it? May be twenty or eighty times! Okay, i was just checking your sister's Instagram wedding photos! Damn, she is a cute little witch! 9864...that was my account ATM pin number! 18 minutes later...money went missing from the account! You smiled but inside, I thought you were sent from Venus!

Goddammit! You day-dancing night dancer! You smiley-faced asthmatic woman! You non-vegetarian! You charming out-going wizard! You wrinkled-faced human being! You pretending gorgeous lady! You horny born-again! You animistic creature! You egoistic Congolese woman! Yes, I faked them! Orgasms of course! Just two hundred and seven of them! Go in peace!